Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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