We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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