Will you blow on my dice?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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