Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My life is pants optional.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
