Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
