love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I love you. Go after that dick
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
