At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I have surprise drugs for everyone
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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