So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
