Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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