Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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