just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
