I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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