I love black thongs
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
