It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Alive.
So much puke
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
