we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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