***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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