I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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