Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
