i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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