at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
