i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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