I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
