One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
