she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
