VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
