ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
this will be a night to untag.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
