something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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