there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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