I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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