Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I don't think brook has ever known best
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
