and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
