i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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