Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
