He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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