Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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