I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
