i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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