That's intense
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
