Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
