There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
