Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
