Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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