I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
