the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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