Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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