This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
