you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
