He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
