Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
