I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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